A year ago, I found myself in the ER being told that I needed “a little heart tuneup”. Turns out, that “little heart tuneup” was due to a genetic-anomaly-and-stress-induced congestive heart failure with 20% left ventricular ejection fraction with 6 months to 5 years to live. Yeah. So sorry! Definitely won’t be able to make it to our 9am meeting tomorrow!

I think most people would break down, or at least, have a good cry in the bathroom. But in true workaholic fashion, my brain immediately switched to problem-solving mode. I started making mental checklists of all the things I needed to sort out. When my doctor commented on how well I was taking the news, I remember thinking, "I don't exactly have the luxury of time to feel sad!" Classic coping mechanism of masking my true feelings with productivity.

However, while I was busy being "strong" and "practical," I was missing the point entirely. This health crisis wasn't just about sorting out paperwork or getting my affairs in order, it was my body screaming at me to slow down, to feel, to live.

I’ve spent my entire life being the reliable one, the problem-solver, the go-to person for everyone else's needs. At work, I was the one people turned to when things got tough. Need a project saved? Call me. Need a spreadsheet tracker and analysis built before noon? I'm your girl. Deadline impossible to meet? Watch me make it happen.

And you know what? Part of me loved it. Being needed, being dependable - it gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. But at what cost?

It wasn't until I was forced to step back (or rather, lay in a hospital bed for 2 weeks straight) that I realized how much unnecessary work and pressure I'd taken on. I'd become a bottleneck without even knowing it. In trying to be indispensable, I'd actually put the sustainability of our work at risk. What if I wasn't there? What if I couldn't swoop in to save the day?

This realization was a game-changer. It made me see that offloading work and training others wasn't just about reducing my stress - it was about building a stronger, more resilient team and business for Shoott.

Learning to listen to my body has been a journey in itself. For someone who’d lived in their head most of the time, tuning into physical sensations was like learning a new language. But slowly, I started to recognize the signs - the light-headedness when I was taking on too much, the heaviness in my chest when I needed rest. And emotions? That's been a whole other adventure. Years of pushing feelings aside had left me pretty disconnected. I've had to learn to sit with discomfort, to acknowledge fear and sadness instead of brushing them off with a "I'm fine" and a smile.

The beautiful thing is, as I've learned to take care of myself, to set boundaries with myself, to actually get to know myself, I've found that I'm more productive, more creative, and dare I say, happier and more grounded at work. Who knew that taking a midday break to water my plants and decompress or "wasting" time binge watching tv shows could actually make me better at my job? It turns out, workplace stress management interventions like these can significantly reduce burnout and improve overall well-being.

I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy. Changing lifelong habits is hard work. There are still days when I catch myself slipping into old patterns. But now, instead of berating myself up, I take a deep breath, remind myself of how far I've come, and gently course-correct.

To my fellow workaholics, perfectionists, and caretakers out there, I want you to know something: putting yourself first isn't selfish. It's necessary. It's not just about you - it's about being the best version of yourself for everyone in your life, including your coworkers and the business you care so much about.

So, take that break. Delegate that task. Ask for help when you need it. Your health - and your heart - will thank you for it. Life's too short (and in my case, that became all too real) to give all of ourselves away. Let's live for us too, shall we? And just so nobody’s worried, ever since putting myself first and getting on daily meds, my left ventricular ejection fraction is now miraculously back up to 55%-60% and the cap for my lifespan has been lifted.